Immediate Thoughts After the Election

I feel embarrassed.
I don’t even wanna call myself an American.
I’m in disbelief.
I don’t understand.
I am literally sick to my stomach.
I’m so worried.
This is really disheartening to watch.
Morality is dead!
I find it frightening.
I’m honestly sickened.
It feels like a bad dream.
It’s catastrophic.

These were a few sentiments about the election that were expressed by people I consider friends. Do you have any idea how incredibly disheartening and frightening it is to have a “president” who hates women, minorities, those who are mentally unstable or disabled, Muslims, LGBTQ folks, and immigrants (to name a few)?

It is devastating.

I am questioning my faith, and I am a woman of devout faith. How/why would the God I serve, a God of love and humility, allow this to happen? I am a woman who has endured multiple traumas and hardships, yet is still standing… Because of a God who picks me up, because of people who believe in me, who understand my identities and support/embrace them.

If you voted for trump, you either hate me, hate yourself, or are very unintelligent. Essentialist, maybe, but it’s difficult for me to see it as an informed and well-intended decision. People who love me don’t do things that jeopardize my life and the lives of so many other Americans.

trump is a racist, misogynist, xenophobe. He is ableist and a sorry excuse for a human being. What does that say about the people who voted for him?

All my life, I was taught that, “God is love.” In 1st Corinthians 13:4-8, love is said to be: patient, kind, not jealous, not rude, not irritable, unhappy with injustice, trusting, hopeful, and enduring.
Over the past few months, I did so much to get people close to me to understand that a vote for trump was not right. When I learned that those people were voting for trump because of their Christianity, it felt completely wrong. Let me ask you, what is it in trump that exemplifies ANYTHING in 1st Corinthians 13:4-8? ANYTHING?? I could make an extensive list about all of the ways he is the antithesis of that passage, but I won’t…because you [should] already know. Someone asked me, “Are you surprised though?” and my honest answer was, “Yes.”

Why? Because I had FAITH. “Faith like a mustard seed” that my God would deliver. That God would not allow evil to prevail in this situation because, yes, I think trump is evil. How can you sit there and be content with the results knowing that families will be separated because of his xenophobic beliefs? How can you sit idly by while the next “president” is accused of groping women and is on record saying terrible things about them? Are you excusing yourself from the people he speaks ill of? Are you telling yourself, “oh, he’s talking about them…not me!”

I don’t know donald trump, but I will tell you one thing: I would bet money that he doesn’t care about you.

Maybe I sound angry. Let me assure you, I am. I am an angry “Black” woman and I will not remain silent. I will speak my truth regardless of the discomfort it causes others because I have lived in discomfort my whole life, and too many people did not care enough to consider that (or the oppression of millions of others) when they went to vote.

There is a little Black boy for whom I care deeply. He is the sweetest, purest, and happiest baby boy I know. I love him immensely, and would move mountains for him. I want this world to be a better place for him. Yes, I want it to be a better place for me, my friends, and my future kids, but for the time being – can it just be a great place for him? The answer to that question is no. Not with a “president” like trump. Someone who refers to people like us as “the Blacks,” and who would rather wag his finger at “Black on Black” crime than focus on issues like police brutality, is not (in my perspective), capable of making this a “great” place for this sweet boy who is SO deserving of everything wonderful in this life.

When I hear that my “friends” voted for trump, I hear that they don’t care about me. I hear that they don’t care about this sweet boy who is loved beyond measure and deserving of all the amazing things on earth. I hear that they don’t value us. I hear that their lives are more important.

And when those “friends” or “family” are also people of color, I hear that they have some deep-seated issues with themselves, or that they are ill-informed of all the potential harm someone like trump is capable of ensuing.

I posted a status last night asking for trump supporters to sound off. No one responded. Maybe because they were ashamed, as they should be.

I am scared, even though I know God didn’t give me a spirit of fear. I am angry because this isn’t justice. I feel betrayed because the people who claim to love me (and others like me) voted for someone who stands against EVERYTHING that I am, everything that we are.

One of my friends said that he is ashamed to call himself an American; I feel the same way. I am in a state of disbelief, my faith is weak, and my heart is heavy. I recognize that I hold some privilege in that I can continue to pursue my education and become a psychologist. I realize that I can still aim to affect change in this messed up society. But my heart aches for those who are not afforded the same privileges as I am. I mourn for the families that may potentially be torn apart due to trump’s hatred and fearmongering. I lament for those whose financial situations may not allow them to receive the healthcare to which they are entitled. I am angry and resentful toward every single person who voted for trump and allowed this to become a reality.

This is not a joke. This is people’s lives. This is my life, and some of you clearly do not care. I’ve heard some optimistic thoughts like, “Maybe this will be a wakeup call,” and I hope that’s the case because, at this point, there’s no turning back. We all have to live with this. I just pray that those who erred see where they went wrong and ACTIVELY aim to correct it throughout the next four years. For those of us who were with her (begrudgingly or enthusiastically), I’m sorry. We tried; and though our efforts may seem in vain, don’t lose faith. Our work is not done – it wouldn’t be called a “fight” if it were easy.

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